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I received this by e-mail from a friend of mine. Not
only Bush can do Bushisms...
"Whenever
I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but
cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."
--Mariah
Carey
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"Smoking
kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking
campaign.
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"I've
never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston
Bennett, University
of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside
of the killings, Washington
has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor
Marion Barry, Washington,
DC.
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"I'm
not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president."
--Hillary
Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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"That
lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the
one to do it,"
--A
congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half
this game is ninety percent mental." (Sounds like something Yogi Bear would
say)
--Philadelphia
Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It
isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air
and water that are doing it."
--Al
Gore, Vice President
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"It's
no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George
Bush, US President
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"I
love California. I
practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan
Quayle
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!
"We've
got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee
Iacocca
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"I
was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth.
I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel
Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
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!
"The
word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
--Joe
Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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"We
don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel
Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
````````````````````````````````!
`
"If
we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill
Clinton, President
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"We
are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al
Gore, VP
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"Traditionally,
most of Australia's
imports come from overseas."
--Keppel
Enderbery
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"Your
food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that
you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your
circumstances."
--Department
of Social Services, Greenville,
South Carolina
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"If
somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed
and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next orning,
when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark
S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
.............................................
Question
to Miss Alabama: If
you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever! , because we should not live
forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
forever,"
--Miss
Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA
contest.